Break the Silence: End Child Sexual Abuse

Child Abuse Prevention & Awareness Month is once again upon us. The theme for 2013 is “Break the Silence: End Child Sexual Abuse”. This year, the Department with the support of UNICEF has launched its “Break the Silence Initiative.” This initiative is a multi-pronged approach to protect children against child sexual abuse. During the month of April, Social Development Department joins with other child protection agencies in an effort to raise awareness on the subject of child abuse and neglect whilst encouraging individuals, organizations and communities to support and advocate for vulnerable children and families.

Child sexual abuse has been known to originate in several spaces including the home, homes of relatives and family friends, schools, religious institutions and community locations. Family, Children & Protective Services within the Social Development Department has observed an increase in these reports over the last three years.

The reality of sexual abuse and sexual violence against our children in the Virgin Islands is disturbing. It goes way beyond the repulsive stories we all read or hear in the media. For the past three years, fifty two (52) reports of sexual abuse have been reported to the Social Development Department. Some may say that for a population of a little over 28,000 the numbers are not alarming. However, if we look at it in the context that one live touches a family, and each family touches a community, in some way, then all of us would be touched and negatively affected by even one case of child sexual abuse in our community, therefore, one case is too many. The World Health Organization has called sexual abuse of children in the Caribbean a “silent emergency.” This is a topic that you have probably read about numerous times, but one that we should never stop talking about so long as our children are being preyed on.

What is Child Sexual Abuse?

While there is no universal definition of child sexual abuse, one central element is the dominance and power play of an adult or older peer who forces or coerces a child into some form of sexual activity. Children who are sexually abused may have had their genitals fondled, forced to masturbate, may have had oral stimulation of their genitals by their abusers, or forced into vaginal and/or anal intercourse. In addition, it is important to recognize that sexual abuse doesn’t always involve body contact. Exposing a child to sexual situations or materials, encouraging children to behave in sexually explicit ways and involving them in watching sexual material is sexually abusive, whether or not touching is involved. While news stories of sexual predators are scary, what is even more frightening is that sexual abuse usually occurs at the hand of someone the child knows and should be able to trust. And contrary to what many believe, it’s not just girls who are at risk. Boys and girls both suffer from sexual abuse. In fact, sexual abuse of boys may be underreported due to shame and stigma. All girls and boys are at risk of sexual violence.

Knowledge is the first step towards prevention and intervention. Prevention is a tool that is underutilized in many areas of care. Prevention is providing education before, not after the fact, to equip persons with the tools needed to prevent child sexual abuse from happening. We as a territory must not only protect our boys and girls but also empower them with the necessary education to help prevent and stop incidences of sexual abuse. We must encourage them to report abuse and also assure them that they will be protected from their perpetrators when they do.

What are some effects of sexual abuse on children?

A child who is sexually abused may develop low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness and may have a distorted view of sex. Very often, there are no signs of sexual abuse and it is only a doctor who may detect signs of sexual abuse. However, parents should be vigilant for other signs that may develop after a child has been abused. These include:

• Problems falling asleep
• Withdrawal from family and friends
• Refusal to attend school
• Behavioural problems at school
• Unusual aggressiveness
• Fear that something is wrong with the genitals
• Depression
• Unusual interest in or avoidance of all sexually related things
• Fear of persons of the opposite sex
• Secretiveness

 How can parents prevent or reduce the chance of child sexual abuse?

• As parents we are in the position to have the most influential role in our children’s lives. Maintain and open and trustworthy relationship with your child. Mothers and fathers, talk to your daughters and sons about appropriate and inappropriate touching. No one should touch your child in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable. Let your children know that if anything makes them feel uncomfortable about the way someone touches them they have the RIGHT (no matter who it is) to tell that person they don’t like it. Let them know you will help them. Teach them about personal space.
• Teach your children the appropriate terms for their genital parts, rather than using nicknames. It is important they know their anatomy so that if a situation does arise and they are disclosing abuse it will be clear to those they are disclosing to.
• Coach your children in saying assertively simple things such as “NO!” or “STOP!” if someone is doing something to make them feel uncomfortable. Instilling children with the confidence to say “NO!” may be just enough to scare off a perpetrator.
• Your children must know and believe that you will protect them. Assure them that no matter what anyone tells them, no matter what threat is made by an abuser, they will be protected. Often time’s abusers threaten to harm the child or members of the child’s family if they disclose the abuse. It is important for our children to know they can come to their parents, teachers, doctors, aunts, uncles (any adult whom they trust) for help and support. Child sexual abuse is one of the most gut wrenching revelations any parent would want to know and in the heat of it all, a parent may want to cause harm to the alleged perpetrator. However, in the Virgin Islands, the Children & Young Persons Act 2005 mandates outside of educators, social workers and health care professionals, parents and immediate family members to report any case of suspected child maltreatment to the police.

What should parents do if they think their child/ren has been abused?

• Most importantly BELIEVE your children if they disclose sexual abuse to you. They need to know you support them. They need to trust you. They need to feel validated. If you don’t validate them they may feel even more helpless. Worse, the abuse will continue.
• Do NOT blame your child for the abuse. It is a myth that a child might have somehow done something to bring the abuse upon them. The abuser is ALWAYS at fault. By law, no child under the age of sixteen can consent to sex.
• Know what steps to take if you suspect your child is being abused or they disclose abuse to you. Contact the Royal Virgin Islands Police Force and report the matter. Members of the Family & Juvenile Unit are trained to handle cases of child sexual abuse. They may be reached 7 days a week, 24 hours a day at 468-9647. Social Development Department may also be contacted at 468-3650. Social Workers there will provide support and resources to parents and victims affected by child sexual abuse. They may be contacted in an emergency at 468-YES1(9371).
• Support the Social Development Department and their child protection efforts during April and throughout the year. Visit us at our offices in Road Town, email us at childrenandfamilyservicesbvi@gmail.com or visit us on facebook at breakthesilencevi. Get involved, make an individual commitment to be an advocate in our Virgin Islands community; our children are depending on us.

Child Sexual Abuse: there are no innocent bystanders. Silence is acceptance—Together, let’s break the silence!